It’s a day for venting minor, and some not so minor, irritations. Please indulge me because if I don’t get some of these out in the open someone is likely to be hurt.
Bridget asked to sit on the potty today, which was a first, and told me she needed to poop. I got very excited and was telling her how proud I was and that I would open the Olivia doll that has been sitting in the kitchen for weeks waiting for a poop in the potty. She sat there for about 2 minutes, playing with the strawberries on her shirt, then hopped down and pulled her pants up without even attempting to poop. She then walked directly to her brothers’ room, fished through Sam’s dresser to find a belt, pooped in her pull-up, then hollered that she needed help putting the belt on. For real? And she wasn’t even ashamed, just laid down and asked Daddy to change her butt.
Blair and I typically watch TV while eating supper, after the kids are in bed. I know, it is a horrible habit but he gets home just in time for prime time, what’s a girl to do? Very often we agree on programming but on the evenings that we don’t, I usually cede the decision to him, especially now that we have DVR. This is where the irritation comes in. He will choose a show that I am not interested in, such as the evolution of steel, and sit through the boring numbers portion of the program until it just starts to get interesting to me and then change the channel. Every freaking time he waits until the steel worker is crying because he’s away from his family so much or the beetles start to shed their skin and suddenly the Guide Menu pops up and he is searching again. I’m a little tense right now just thinking about it.
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, clean clothes in the laundry basket drives me bonkers. Yesterday I noticed that the boys’ hamper was overflowing, like stacked 2 feet above the rim. It shocked me because I had just washed a load of their clothes over the weekend so I took a closer look. For some reason, Sam had thrown 3 clean shirts, one that he has never even worn, into the hamper. He had to have taken them off the hanger for no reason other than to put them in the hamper to annoy me. Ggrrr.
Toys and clothes on a bed will also about do me in. Drew is the biggest culprit of this; I will find a church shirt, a light saber, a bouncy ball, and 2 books on his bed every time I go in to change the sheets. I’m already a little pissy about doing laundry and now I have to put things away that I know you weren’t even playing with? Then I get up to Sam’s bed and have to throw 89 stuffed animals down from the top bunk before removing his sheets. Maybe I’ll box up all their toys today.
Stupid people irritate me…a lot. All the different species of stupid bother me: uneducated, inappropriate behavior or dress, delusional, non-filtered speaking, manipulative, and then my favorite inappropriately dressed, crazy, crass and mean people. I also love the brand of stupid that allows people to believe they have never made a mistake, that every rotten thing that happens is the fault of someone else and should therefore be fixed by someone else. I get very irritated by people who can’t accept that consequences are a direct result of choices, both good and bad. Lord I hope my children don’t grow up to be those people.
Smokers who get very defensive if you even glance at them while they are smoking bother me. I’m not judging you, I’m just trying to turn the corner without hitting you, Mr. Water Main repair man standing in the middle of the street taking a smoke break.
Whining is my least favorite sound in the world and I have some world class whiners in my house. I have tried all the Super Nanny tricks to curb it, with minimal success. Some kids are just born that way, I guess, and I will just have to hope he grows out of it. In actuality, Drew has gotten much better about whining and tantrum throwing but he reverted a bit yesterday and almost got his first spanking. I resorted to kicking a soccer ball at him repeatedly until he got it together. In my defense, we were already playing soccer, I didn’t take him outside and start pelting him with balls just for fun.
People who over-enunciate all the time rub me the wrong way. I feel like they are speaking to me as if I am deaf or dumb, and that’s before they even know me. The only exceptions to my hatred of this habit are Niles Crane and Tim Gunn, because let’s face it, he can do no wrong.
I think if you’re going to use a word in a sentence, you should know how to pronounce it. For instance, I have a father-in-law who says skenario (scenario) and irregardless a lot, which isn’t a real word. I also know many people who insert an x into words that do not, in fact, contain the letter x, words like especially and ask. My sister heard this sentence on the radio this morning, “…to make the competition between schools more fairly.” Come on people, engage the brain and remember what your first grade teacher taught you.
While we’re on the subject, poor grammar literally makes my skin crawl. I have tried to cure Blair of the few phrases he uses incorrectly but some are so ingrained that I can’t seem to break him. For instance, when discussing a sick person he will often say, “Did she go off feed?” This might be correct terminology when discussing livestock, but is certainly not appropriate when discussing a person. If his offenses were more along the lines of “I seen him the other day” we would not have gotten married and I am totally serious. Horrible grammar was and is where I draw the line; if I am friends with you, you have decent grammar.
There are many more things that irritate me but I have to stop now because I’m irritating myself with all this negative thinking. Aren’t pessimists so depressing? On the bright side, I wore a tummy shirt to Sam’s school today and I seen that he had on a dirty shirt. I axed him why didn’t he put it in the hamper, irregardless of the fullity of the basket but he says it weren’t his fault….goodness, I can’t even finish that sentence, it seriously hurts but you get the point. What irritates you?