These posts have gotten a little serious lately so today I’m all about humor. Everyone needs a little laughter every day so here is my attempt to get a giggle.
Things I have noticed grown-ups doing lately:
A woman in Hobby Lobby was asking for a job application wearing sweats and a grungy ponytail. In my opinion, asking for an application is your first chance to make a good impression on a future employer and you should prepare yourself accordingly. If you don’t have the money for an “interview” outfit, you can at least make sure your hair and face are clean and put together. For real, this woman looked like she had just rolled out of bed.
Another woman in Hobby Lobby was sporting a Tweety Bird tattoo on her calf that must have been 4 inches tall. I understand the urge to get a tattoo and can even almost understand that sometimes you aren’t thinking about the rest of your life when you choose a design but I do think you should consider tattoo placement. Do you really want to be 70 years old and flashing Tweety Bird all summer?
Picking my kids up from school, I noticed a grandmotherly sort picking up a child. She was wearing a maroon fleece jacket with Tweety Bird embroidered on the left chest. The grandmother, not the little girl, was wearing Tweety Bird….. I think there should be an age limit on purchases of clothing with Disney or other cartoon characters, punishable by a fine. I’d cut some slack on pajamas if everyone would promise not to wear them outside the house but I don’t think people would abide by this rule.
In fact, I know people like to wear pajamas outside the house because I saw a man in pajama pants in Target today. To his credit, he and his wife had newborn twins and a 2-year-old little boy so I’m sure he was exhausted but changing into sweatpants would be preferable to the plaid flannel when in public.
I felt a little bit like a 10-year-old today when I noticed a gentleman riding his bike along a busy thoroughfare in Cedar Falls with almost his entire bottom hanging out of his pants. I don’t mean that his crack was showing because, let’s be honest, almost every one of us has flashed some crack at times. I am telling you that more than half of his butt was perfectly visible as he pedaled. His pants weren’t moving, his shirt wasn’t semi-covering as his legs pumped, his butt was simply hanging out. It is chilly today so he had to have noticed that his rear was cold but he either didn’t care or couldn’t do anything about and decided to just go with it. Either way, we were lucky to avoid an accident because I was giggling and gawking like a 5th grader.
Other silly things
I have created a monster and have no one to blame but myself. Bridget and I stopped at Target today because I had coupons (and I actually used them!) for detergent and such. I also wanted to get the kids some plain long sleeve t-shirts for layering but got just a little bit sidetracked in the little girls department. I picked up an adorable polka dot shirt and said, “Oh this is cute, Bridget, do you like this?” Of course she did so in the cart it went. She then asked for a dress and some jammies but I told her no and pushed her over to the boys section. We found the boys some shirts and started to walk toward the checkout area but some plum purple corduroy pants caught my attention. I stupidly picked them up and Bridget immediately said, “Those cute, me really want those.” Damnit! Luckily, or unluckily depending on your perspective, they were on clearance so I got them…and another matching polka dot shirt. Damnit.
One more Bridget story for today: we found some pink and princess socks in the Dollar Spot when we entered Target which she carried throughout the store and retrieved as soon as they had been scanned at checkout. After placing our bags in the van, we put the cart back and I carried her back to the van. As we walked, she started singing “my pink socks…my 2 matching pink socks….match 2 pink socks” in the most hilarious sing-song voice. I laughed and she stopped and looked me right in the eye and said “No laugh Mommy, not funny.”
I told her that I really liked her song and she said, “No laugh, not funny song….just happy song.” Stinker.
Drew strutted around book club on Tuesday with his jammie pants pulled up to armpants declaring “I’m big pants guy” in a carton superhero voice. Those in attendance who didn’t know my kids very well got the very best introduction to my Drewster.
While I mowed the leaves in the yard this week, I asked Sam to take a broom and sweep all the leaves off the deck and cement so I could mow them up. After each section was completed, he would come ask me if I had “any more impossible jobs” for him to do. Once he was done, I kept catching glimpses of red as I mowed and couldn’t figure out where he was or what he was doing but I noticed that little orange cones were appearing all over the yard. The little turd was running all over the yard like a spy, trying not be seen while placing orange cones in various places. He continued to run and hide while I visited with our neighbors, peeking his cute little face out periodically to make sure we were still playing along and pretending not to see him.
Facebook friends, I have a question for you: how often do you scroll through your Friend list and eliminate people? Do you “unfriend” people who post mean or snotty comments or those that post too much information? Have you ever unfriended someone because they hurt your feelings or offended you in some way? How do you decide who to accept, delete or keep? I’ve been told that I need to be more selective and I’m wondering what the general consensus is….
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