Scene: Mom is in the basement finishing up a workout. Princess Bridget is safely ensconced on the couch watching Dora and Diego. Mom hears the shower turn on and races up the stairs to the bathroom to find Bridget standing near the toilet, still in her jammies, holding a plunger.
Mom: What are you doing?
Bridget: The thing was stuck in deyare (there) so I used the plunger thing to get it.
M: Why was the shower on?
B: I was cleaning the plunger thing.
M: What did you put in the toilet?
B: One thing and two things but they got stuck in deyare so I used the plunger thing.
M: What was stuck in the potty, what did you put in there?
B: The plunger thing! (Now getting agitated that Mom isn’t understanding.)
M: What was stuck in the potty, what were you trying to get out with the plunger?
B: The thing. (very calmy and politely)
M: What thing?
B: The things! (less calm and highly irritated)
This conversation continues for several more repetitive rounds. Then Mom notices the container of antibacterial wipes, the non-flushable kind, open and lying on its side.
M: Did you put these in the potty?
B: (very proud) Yep!
B: I was pooping and the potty was dirty so I was cleanin it. (obviously) They was stuck so I used the plunger thing to get it out and then I cleaned it in the shower (you idiot).
At this point, there is nothing the Mom can say to Bridget, she simply continues to plunge until the offending wipes have exited the toilet, rinses the plunger in the shower and washes both her own and Bridget’s hands for a number of minutes. There is no way to know if Bridget was wiping down the inside of the toilet or the rim, no way to know how much of the plunger she touched, or why she found any of this necessary.
The only possible explanation is that having watched her brothers clean the base and floor around the toilet with the same antibacterial wipes the night before, she wanted in on the action.
Mom is now left to decide if she should be proud that her daughter is resourceful and neat or disgusted that her almost 3-year-old has seen the plunger used enough times to know exactly what to do. Mom decides that much worse things could have happened as she has witnessed toilets being replaced due to stuck toys and clothing. She is also grateful that non-flushable wipes do actually flush eventually.
Addendum: Later that afternoon, Mom discovered Bridget in the bathroom looking at her poop in the potty with a magnifying glass. There may be a problem.