This is a list of things I actually said yesterday. Yep, in just one day I was a font of ridiculousness.
Why are you fighting with light sabers when you don’t even have pants on yet?
How did your shoe get on the roof?
We’ll have to draw names for cupcakes.
Bring me the rubber bands, your boobies are showing.
Everyone work together to put away the jam, please.
I wish you could hug Grandma Shirley through the computer too.
She’s not looking at your penis, she is helping us give the dog a bath.
You’re right, I do get to see you and talk to you every day, isn’t that awesome?
Yes, using NFL player’s numbers is a great way to remember what page you are on in your book.
I don’t see any of your body parts on the street, I think you’re fine.
The girls were sweeping and now we’ve lost them, crap.
I think I should keep track of these nonsensical statements every day, yesterday surely wasn’t an anomaly!
Note: This is not a compilation or an exaggerated list, I truly uttered each of these things yesterday.
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